Sometimes...

Sometimes a painful bite is enough to bring you back to reality. Sometimes what is said is not what is listened. Sometimes synonyms don't mean the same. Sometimes your mind is full of delusions you never realized were there. Sometimes the boundary between a reaction of anger or hurt, laughing or crying is just the mood you were in at the time it happened. Sometimes rejecting reality seems more appealing than acknowledging it. Sometimes running appears to be the only attractive course of action. Sometimes you wake up wishing you were still asleep. Sometimes you regret not jumping that day. Sometimes there's no visible light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes there's no one that hates you more than yourself. Sometimes a guilty conscience consumes your thoughts all day. Sometimes you feel like all your time is wasted. Sometimes you only seem to be able to screw up. Sometimes you understand why your life is this way, why no one loves you. Sometimes your doubts and insecurities are enough to make you change your perception of everything. Sometimes you admit defeat. Sometimes you still glance at that window. But you're not looking through it, you're pondering an option.

"I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.

I long for that feeling to not feel at all.

The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.

I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim."

- in "Can you feel my heart" by Bring me the Horizon