Saudade

I must say I truly thought I was incapable of missing someone. All the years of being apart from people I loved during long periods of time turned the need to see them again into simple indifference. Truth be told, growing up I've become numb to a multitude of things, dismissing various feelings and embracing the peacefulness of being alone. I can't even recall when was the last time I've missed my dad or my sister, yet against all odds, here I am missing you. What is it that makes you different? Could you be an exception? Oh I know this can't be good... Your absence most definitely should not be bothering me, actually you shouldn't even be on my mind let alone making me miss you. It would seem as my fascination with tragedy is getting to the point of my subconscious attempting to create one in my own life, either that or my masochistic heart really outdid himself this time. Sometimes I just wish there was a button to turn off these emotions...

"What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way,

What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you"

- in "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak