Do you know what's like to wake up every morning with that same feeling? A tremendous wanting, a voice inside my head telling me to look for her, to text her, to go talk to her. I keep trying to ignore it along with the pain that slowly creeps in my chest soon after. Please just shut up for once... Stop adding to my torture... I won't listen to you, I can't...
And as if that wasn't enough I keep seeing girls that look like her, wear the same clothes and accessories, got the same body type, same posture, same hair or even same voice. They're usually in the distance and not facing me, causing doubt to form deep within. My heart skips a beat and I hold my breath without even realizing it, only noticing when the need for air becomes too great to ignore. But in the end it's not her. It's never her... And I get both relieved and disappointed wishing this would be the day that I finally got to see you again. It's best this way though, I don't feel that I have the strength to face you just yet (or ever, I fear).
Every time I think I'm moving on I realize that what I'm really doing is merely rejecting your existence, avoiding all that correlates to you in hopes my denial will make you disappear and I won't have to deal with these feelings, the only thing you didn't take with you and the only thing I wish you did. Yet the cruel reality is that I'm haunted by you, not a single day goes by that I don't think of you and how terribly empty I feel now that you're gone.
No comments:
Post a Comment