This was the song of the very first night with my ex. It felt so right, all the words fit so perfectly. I can't tell you how many times I listened to it while trying to figure out if it had all just been a dream... Now every single syllable burns me more than any raging flame could ever. It hurts... It's ruined, destroyed beyond fixing. It's sad, so sad, because this song signaled a deep change in my life. It helped me cope with these fucked up feelings and notions of self I'd never had to face before. Admitting to myself was hard, finding courage to admit to others was... Harder. And then facing the consequences, ironically, of being myself. It's been over a year since I've last heard it, unlike that last time, now those chords at the very beginning hit me hard, like a punch in the stomach. But you know what? Tonight I'm hitting rock bottom so I might as well give it all I've got.
"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight"
- in "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls
No comments:
Post a Comment