One of those nights

Fresh winter air, humidity ranking high in the atmosphere and zero wind. The sky's pitch black and the street's almost empty as I make my way back home. Taking a deep breath I let my head fall back while closing my eyes for just about two seconds. Only at nine degrees celsius my skin welcomes the cooling embrace the air provides and I open my eyes just in time to contemplate the now visible breath leaving my mouth with every exhalation. Lowering my head back in place I take my time to glance around registering the accumulation of rain water in the buildings and trees around me, slowly dripping to the ground enlarging the already wide and abundant puddles under my feet. I don't mind it in the slightest, even when my shoes lose the battle to stay dry allowing water inside. Much like I didn't mind the rain that poured down on me earlier today, enough to get my recently dried hair damp once again. But it wasn't raining anymore, there wasn't a trace of wind either. Letting my tiredness get the best of me I once again shut my eyelids and this time acknowledged the familiar smell that hustled it's way through my nostrils and into my lungs, that wonderful scent, the one that remains when the rain is gone. All the while my ears were being overflowed with music, very loud rock music I must add, creating the perfect contrast with the seemingly serene night surrounding me. I had a song playing in repeat, one that holds deep meaning to me. A bearer of memories, a reminder of a difficult time in my life, it's melody while full of sorrow still wielder of an immense power, once providing me with the strength I so desperately craved to escape the destructive place I was trapped in. A song I had the privilege to hear played live for the very first time, something I'll never forget. A song that transforms my feelings into sound and that I can't still be indifferent to while listening. In this moment I could shout out the lyrics into the dark skies above me, I won't lie, I controlled myself in order to avoid such an occurrence but I could never tame the smile that settled on my lips from time to time as the song played. Yet my eyes still held a distinctive grief paired with furrowed brows and a downward gaze that contradicted the apparent happiness of my ever fleeting smile. But it's okay, those are just the signs of my reminiscing mind and faraway thoughts visiting a past I'm still letting go of. Thankfully I'm way beyond the point were that would ruin my night and what a gorgeous night it is.

"One thing I know is for certain,

We cannot have all we want,

Still this will not stop the hurting. It is never gone"

- in "Fortress" by Alter Bridge